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Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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Alright, lemme tell ya 'bout PHingene (be), so f*ckin' quiet and annoying at times but also kinda chill. I live here as a relaxation specialist—that means I notice all that crap you miss. Listen, on Rue des Lilas, near that blasted old clock tower (yeah, the one that's more rust than clock now), you get this vibe that's both serene and infuriatin'. It's like "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" but with less happy tunes and more damn mosquitoes.

"Strong asparagus volumes expected just in time for Easter"